freehoun bathroom control

barney's got a long journey ahead of him, and he doesn't have time to stop and let it all out. gordon's there for moral support. and to watch him piss like a champ afterward

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the reason. the context. is gordon and barney having to hoof it together over antlion territory. for whatever fucking reason, since they dont really group up together canonically all that much.....but details, details. and they find out the hard way that taking a piss out here gets the antlions attention like nothing else, like theres some kind of pheromone receptor being activated in their little hivemind that says Attack. Kill

its incredibly contrived but it is at least less contrived than "gordon telling barney to hold it just for kicks". just an excuse for barney to have to hold it like a champ thru hours of walking past antlion nests without being like "okay but why is he doing this. why would he just be trying not to take a piss for no reason. this is insane". even if it is still pretty insane

see like......the thing is......its cute? seeing all the squirming and flushing and sweating. wires get crossed. and gordon freeman sees barney doing all this, the guy whos usually so composed and mature and bears an unbeatable poker face (as he must, IMO, if hes been undercover with the combine for 20 yrs) even if he is kind of strung out and bossy sometimes.......and he realizes. those wires get crossed. and he cannot stop realizing

barney is the furthest thing from a vulnerable guy, so seeing him with all these vulnerable behaviors and mannerisms........its a Lot to take in.

he really wouldnt be like that under any other circumstances, but when youve been walking in the hot sun for hours and trying to hold it in the whole time and staying in one place for too long makes you think youre gonna lose control.......well. thats a little bit of a different story. and if it wasnt gordon freeman out here with him, barney would probably rather just take care of this problem and damn the consequences, b/c hes not about to have one of his underlings see him like this.......but with gordon, its different. hes not so worried about having to put on his Commander Face. and also, you know, the way gordons been looking at him for awhile? flushed and wide eyed and progressively more strung out? with that face thats never been able to hide anything, no matter how hard hes tried? thats......thats pretty good, too.

and........and i think theres room for gordon to be encouraging here, too. telling barney that theyre almost there, hes just gotta hold it together for a little while longer. awkwardly patting barney on the back and not realizing that the jostling doesnt fucking help, but when was the last time gordon was this handsy with him? barneys certainly not gonna say anything

its the vulnerability......the desperation......putting control in gordons hands, instead of the usual reverse of this

and letting him hang onto that control when they finally make it out of antlion territory and barneys fit to burst but gordons.......being a little weird about it. eyes wide and flushed as he signs to barney that, uhh, maybe he should just.......keep holding it. to be safe. you never know how far out those warrens might extend, gordon thinks, and hes desperately trying to sell this to barney as if this isnt very very weird and as if its not a little obvious what his motivation is when he looks like this

and barneys kind of like, what?? gordon, cmon, lets not play around......but gordons weirdly insistent, and more importantly, he looks really cute when hes flushed and strung out and insistent. those wide green eyes could get anything he wanted......theyd be dangerous if gordon ever put them to use. (he almost never does.) theyre good enough to get barney to change his tune a little and swallow past a lump in his throat and agree to just......hold it. to be safe. if gordons that worried about it, mind you. he plays along, b/c if gordons worried for nothing, its a mild inconvenience. if hes right......well. barney has no intentions of being antlion supper today, thank you know.......theres only so far barney can be pushed. theres only so much that even he can tolerate the quaver in his voice when he starts bitching at gordon that, really, theyve gone far enough inland, they havent seen an antlion in an hour, its gotta be fine, right? but hes not just......doing it. taking care of the problem. even now hes still asking for it

and i am nice and i am not about to make him piss himself in front of god and everyone but i am also very very mean and i am about to make gordon freeman watch him like an overheated dog, panting and staring, while barney calhoun fishes out his dick without even thinking about it

i just thought that it would be........uhhh. it would be cool if. if gordon just openly stared at barney while he tried to take a piss for the first time in hours and hours. and if barney was a little........uhh........bladder-shy. hard to get the magic to happen when hes being stared at like that. but from gordons perspective, its impossible not to stare - barneys got his literal entire dick just, right there, pulled out of his pants like its nothing, and the squirming and sweating is getting worse under gordons scrutiny and gordons never, ever seen him like that before, not while they were at black mesa and certainly not now, not when barney calhouns a Resistance Leader

and, maybe, watching guys just take a piss isnt your thing. but, bear with me here. what if gordon freeman was standing directly behind barney.......a little taller than him......enough that he can look right over barneys shoulder and watch him like that and maybe lean against barneys back, the front of his HEV suit a sharp, warm line from the heat of the daytime sun while barney struggles to take a piss right there in front of him. wouldnt that be something

some subtle encouragements maybe......a hand on the shoulder......gordon making it painfully clear that he is a weird fucking guy and barney accepting this and trying to take a leak in front of the guy anyway. (as if hes not doing this because gordons so into it. because of the way gordons breathing in his ear. as if this isnt stirrin up things inside him that, were he 20 yrs younger, would be making it even fucking harder to let go.)

and i just think it would be neat. if. once barney gets over it. he lets out the most agonized fucking groan gordons ever heard. you know......leaning next to a wall with his hand braced on it.....head hanging through his shoulders.......moaning like its a blowjob on christmas day. the way i think SHOULD have been done in the act 3 commentary if certain streamers werent fucking Cowards. anyway

this is all i got. anything could happen from here. they could touch dicks, or, they could just suffer in silence and think way too hard about what the fuck just happened. gamers choice

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