the sims: Platonic Bro Milk Disaster
the worlds most insane pet project: recreating Platonic Bro Milk Disaster in the sims 4. thanks to my equally insane gf who writes some of the best shit i ever seen
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Benrey bounced on his toes before knocking firmly and constantly on the battered door in front of him. He could hear a shuffling and the metallic sound of several locks being undone in sequence. The door cracked open the tiniest amount and his favorite person pokes his head through. He looked delightfully disheveled and he was already frowning. His ‘plausible deniability’ beanie was covering his head, but his tail was clearly sticking out from under his oversized t shirt.
“boyyy’s night!” drawled Benrey as he pushed past Gordon into his apartment.
Gordon sighed like a big dramatic baby but didn't try to manhandle him back out the doorway, so score one for Boy’s Night. Boy’s Night happened any time Benrey wanted to come over unannounced to play stupid multiplayer games with Gordon. It’s a mini holiday for both of them.
“Yes, thank you. Exactly what I wanted, some creep eating all my chips and fucking up my shit.”
Gordon sighed again. He pushed Benrey’s feet off the table and slumped down beside him. “Just once, can’t you call before you come over? What if I was doing something important?”
He’s scowling, but he’s also pushing a controller into Benrey’s hands and turning on a fighting game they’re both bad at, so score two for Boy’s Night.
Benrey grinned and elbowed him playfully. He watched Gordon out of the corner of his eye intensely. “what’s more important than your best pal? your buddy?”
Gordon snorted and rubbed his eye. “Getting rid of these?” He gestured loosely at the top of his head. That stupid beanie was still there, taunting Benrey.
“huh?” Benrey squinted as his thoughts loaded. “no. that’s dumb.” He leaned into Gordon’s personal space and made a lazy grab at his head. “show me the goods. we can’t have boy’s night without em. please? please??”
Gordon’s little half smile sadly disappeared. His lips thinned as he pushed Benrey back to his side of the couch. He was always touchy about this part, but it would be way worse if Benrey snatched the hat. Gordon reached up and tugged the beanie off and tossed it to the coffee table. His adorable cow ears flopped free instantly, bouncing into place. He reached up and gave the base of his cute little horns a rub.
Benrey resisted the urge to clap. “there we go! now we can game.”
Boy’s Night was starting to go downhill.
Benrey scrunched down on the couch and sipped his drink slowly. His eyes tracked Gordon as he stomped and paced around the room, gripping the bottom of his shirt and ranting about… something. He’d lost track a while ago, and, based on how red Gordon’s face was getting, now was not the time to interrupt. He was pretty sure that friendly fire wasn’t allowed during game time, but he wasn’t going to test it.
Benrey tilted his head and put on a mocking shark grin. “little cow boy gonna charge? huh? gonna, uh, stampede all over the furniture?”
Gordon groaned and sank down onto the couch beside him. He was closer this time, just the barest amount of space between their thighs. He covered his eyes with one hand and kept pulling on his shirt with the other. “Did you listen to anything I just said?” His voice was frustrated. Whatever.
Within just a moment, Gordon wiggled his way out of his shirt and tossed it across the room. His slightly flushed tits (!) bounced (!!) slightly with the motion. He sighed and rolled his shoulders, before seeming to remember Benrey was there. He started to cross his arms over his chest before he stopped halfway through the motion. His face was red, and the flush was making its way down his neck.
Benrey couldn’t keep his jaw from dropping. His mouth flapped helplessly for a moment before he got a hold of himself. “DUDE.”
Gordon’s ears twitched back and he didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands. They kept moving towards his chest to cover them before flinching away. “Shut uppp.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed the base of one horn. “Don’t make this weird.”
Don’t make this weird?! “big, uh.” Big tits. No, focus. It’s fine, it’s normal, stop looking– “big talk coming from, from mister weird over here.” Not his strongest material but in his defense he was looking at Gordon’s big, pert nipples, stop looking. He couldn’t look away. Hypnotic. He was going to get shot in the fucking head for looking at Gordon Freeman’s tits. Worth it.
Gordon rolled his eyes. His shoulders got a little less tense, though, so that was good. “Let’s just play the game, man. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Benrey nodded to himself and tore his eyes from Gordon’s chest. His fighting game character started kicking randomly as he glanced constantly back at Gordon. “you got a license for those things?” Benrey commented offhandedly.
Gordon choked, sputtered, and his character threw a punch in the completely wrong direction.
Gordon was waving his arms around and gesturing wildly as he talked and Benrey’s eyes were glued to the way it made his boobs bounce like, like something hypnotic and unbelievably hot. “dude.” Benrey struggled to connect two thoughts together into a coherent idea with Gordon’s tits in his face, so he just blurted out the first thing to come to mind. “looks like cow man just needs to be milked, bro.”
Gordon went dead still.
Gordon exploded into sound and fury. Unfortunately, he didn’t lunge over to try to kick Benrey’s ass, so that excuse to cop a feel was still off the table. Benrey politely nodded and didn’t pay attention as Gordon ranted and raved. His face was flushed as he shouted and continued gesturing wildly (nice).
Benrey let his thoughts wander as he stared at his tits. His chest was a bit bigger than he remembered it being pre-cow incident or whatever, but his stomach and back were just as he’d imagined. Not to mention the shoulders. There was a lot of real estate that Benrey was diligently mapping in his head. This was the best Boy’s Night ever. Gordon should get cow boyed more often, honestly.
“Go get us some fucking drinks,” Gordon ordered. His voice was a little hoarse from all the yelling.
Benrey nodded and meandered into Gordon’s kitchen to poke around. He knew where the drinks were, but he also knew that this was a golden opportunity to touch everything in Gordon’s kitchen and see if he had any good shit hidden out of sight.
After eating a few stale granola bars in the back of a cabinet, he had completely forgotten about the drinks Gordon asked for.
After a few minutes of snooping, he returned to the living room. Gordon was nowhere to be found as he slumped back onto the couch.
Gordon shuffled back into the living room with a peculiar expression on his face. Haunted might be the best word for it. Benrey glanced at his still exposed tits. There was a joke there. Something something boo-bies.
He sat down heavily next to Benrey. His shoulders were hunched defensively. “Let’s just finish the fucking game, man.”
Benrey nodded. “yeah sure. whatever.” He picked up his controller and tilted his head. There was a… smell. Very subtle. He sniffed quietly. It was almost sweet. It reminded him of–
Benrey glanced at Gordon. His face was scrunched in embarrassment and there was the faintest scent of milk in the air.
Well. That was great. This was good. Benrey was going to jerk off to this forever, he reckoned.