HL gordon cucking hlvrai gordon. okay, goodbye
all of that effortless, silent confidence…….hlvrai gordon seeing how its winning benrey over (and, you know, the later HEV suits being a lot more visually flattering than HL1 gordons not helping matters) and being insanely fucking jealous for reasons he does not want to interrogate
but like……what the hell can he do about it without admitting that he feels jealous that benreys clearly attracted to this version of him that, in his eyes, is like, better in every possible way? thats fuckin embarrassing, man. so instead he just sits there stewing in it and making it incredibly obvious to everyone (except benrey, who is not terribly perceptive of “feelings”) that hes jealous
and the whole time benreys fuckin thought process is just “two cakes! except one of them gets mad when i say his ass looks nice and the other one doesnt”. and if hlvrai gordons not interested, then, well, whats the problem? b/c hes not interested, right. he doesnt care if benreys makin eyes at HL gordon, right
at the same time, consider: hlvrai gordon bitching out loud about how unfair it is that this alternate universe version of him is so capable and intelligent and cool and collected and his fucking cheekbones, man, and its not fair how much more flattering his HEV suit and his haircut are and– and bubby interrupts him like “for gods sake, do you want to fuck him?”
anyway all im getting at is that what i really want in life is for hlvrai gordon to be watching benrey and HL gordon make out and fuck and just be seething from how fucking turned on he is by it
i also feel like HL gordon wouldnt exactly think the world of himself either he just does what he has to do and is really reserved about it. so if someone told him all of that shit about how hot he is he would be almost just as flustered and confused
he doesnt fully understand why benrey is hitting on him so hes like flushed and a little embarrassed by it but hes so much more receptive to it than hlvrai gordon is b/c they dont have that antagonistic history……..
and. you know. benrey does kind of look like barney. lil bit of feelings-transferral there, too
i reckon that HL gordon is just as interested in the novelty of benrey being so much more uninhibited than his universes’ version of barney. it’s jarring at first but. u know
thinks about. HL gordon railing him into the fucking ground and benreys getting Loud and he starts saying gordons name out loud but the whole time hes doing it hes got his head turned to look straight at hlvrai gordon. direct eye contact
you just know this motherfucker is thinking about hlvrai gordon joining in and fucking him just like that but he doesnt. he cant bring himself to move b/c this already feels like an insanely weird situation. just sits there feeling frustrated and horny but not even sure if he should be jerking off right now, even though they literally asked him if he wanted to watch and he sure as shit didnt walk away
does he want to the one fucking benrey right now? does he want to be the one getting fucked by HL gordon??? who knows!!! he doesnt, and he is so very pissed off about it. if he just got over himself and talked about even just one of his feelings, maybe he could be getting both of these things right now! but you know. hes stubborn
vr gordon on his knees with a hand in his hair tilting his head back, hl gordon in the HEV suit with 3 fingers fucking his mouth so you know he got those gloves on, just looking him right in the eyes while he does it, vr gordons got his hands wrapped around hl gordons forearm and his thighs spread wide, hes fuckin droolin and flushed and moaning around hl gordons fingers
and then benrey walks in and vr gordon Flips and is like “mpphh mhmhpph” trying to get those fingers out of his mouth and be Normal but hl gordon just grabs his hair tighter and plunges them in deeper and turns to stare right at benrey. doesnt say anything. just gives him an intense, totally unreadable look
gordon getting cucked by hl gordon and not letting himself join in b/c he is emotionally and sexually repressed as all hell is great. but i think it would be really fucking good if hl gordon wordlessly invites benrey to join in. just jerks his head to the side like “get over here”
well, first benrey just stands there, eyes wide and surprised as all hell while vr gordon slaps at hl gordons arm until he takes those fingers out of his mouth. then he starts bitching like “fucking– go away, benrey, wait a fucking minute here–” until hl gordon leans down and whispers something in his ear that benrey cant make out. but whatever it is, it has an Effect on vr gordon thats kind of like watching a glass of water be poured over his head - his mouth snaps shut, and his face turns a dark, dark red, and he swallows hard as he looks back at benrey. and then back to hl gordon. and then he says, real quiet, “uh. okay”
and then benrey gets another Look from hl gordon and hes like “uhhh. cool. yeah. this is cool” and steps into their circle like his legs are on autopilot cuz hes still like what is even going on, never fuckin seen freeman like that before, this is craaaazy ha ha
(like, okay, in this scenario hl gordon already fuckin knows that vr gordon is into benrey and hes just being a little emotionally-constipated bitch about it. thats the whole reason he nodded at benrey to let him join in anyway. so what hl gordon is whispering into his ear is something along the lines of, like, this is what he wanted to do anyway, right? hl gordon already knows. so why dont u be good for the both of them, gordon?)
then before he knows it, hes standing in front of vr gordon on his knees and casting a shadow over him and vr gordon is so fucking embarrassed right now. but, like, hl gordon wasnt wrong, and he really, really wants to be good for him. (and, you know, for benrey, but if he admits that to himself he might actually fucking die.) hes sweating as he looks up at the both of them, like, “uh, okay, hey. uh. what am i supposed to–”
hl gordon interrupts him by making a fucking obscene motion with his (still spit-slick) fingers, indicating that benrey should do what hl gordon was just doing a second ago. (please note: hes still got his other hand in vr gordons hair.) and benrey looks between the two of them with his hand raised halfway into the air, like, yo, is this cool? is this actually happening? hl gordon gestures at him like, go ahead, bro. and when his hand approaches vr gordons mouth and his fingers alight on his lip, that mouth parts just enough to let him in, even if vr gordons having a really goddamn hard time meeting his eyes.
and benrey slowly starts feelin him from the inside, feeling the slick surface of his tongue and teeth while hl gordon gives benrey encouraging gestures and shows him how best to do it. how to get vr gordon to whimper and drool around his fingers just like he was doing earlier. not that vr gordon needs much help getting there - the humiliation of copping to his feelings like this, on his knees and fellating his frenemys hand, combined with hl gordons fingers gently stroking and scratching his scalp and stroking his ear and jaw as if to say, youre doing good, is getting him 12 different kinds of Fucked Up. hes still too embarrassed by all this to really get back into Whoredon Freeman mode so easily, but the embarrassment is…….really fucking cute. its doing it for benrey. and soon enough, hes got 3 fingers in gordons mouth and is feeling those low noises gordons making just as much as hes hearing them
i just……i think hl gordon is neat……hes just……a really quiet guy that projects this air of almost total confidence just by virtue of not speaking that much (and therefore, never sticking his fucking foot in it) and talking with his hands comes a lot easier than speaking aloud…….and hes a nice guy who doesnt have a problem showing it when its necessary/appropriate but he doesnt abide bullshit b/c bullshit gets people killed, which vr gordon unfortunately has in spades……..literally all just fucking made-up personality traits but i just see it very clearly in my head
in my mind he is the polar opposite of vr gordon. like. vr gordon is so desperate to maintain control over his peers and his environment and he mostly just……yells ineffectually and runs around like a big loud rooster trying to peck everybody into place. and clearly that shit dont work out too well for him. so in comparison hl gordon is just……effortlessly confident in what he does and how he acts and people are just naturally inclined to listen to him/take him seriously. or at least he appears that way on the outside - i imagine the guy still has some self esteem issues, both about himself as a person and in his own abilities to Do What Needs To Be Done. just…….being so quiet all the time projects that air
i also imagine that like……his smiles are a bit of a rare thing, too. especially for vr gordon, who spends most of the time rubbing him the wrong way. so when vr gordon does earn one of those smiles, or a thumbs up, or basically any kind of positive attention, it hits extra hard
still thinking about. hl gordon basically……teaching benrey how to fuck vr gordon. in so many words. starting with the fingers…..hes also quietly being encouraging towards benrey, too, communicating that hes doing good at this. (is hl gordon domming both of them at the same fucking time?? youre goddamn right he is.) and benreys tenting the absolute hell out of his slacks by the time hes got vr gordons hand wrapped around his wrist to keep him there, and by the time gordons whining around his fingers and spreading his legs open wider instinctually and jerking his hips a little against the arm hes got shoved down between em for just a little friction
and then hl gordon stops benrey and makes another obscene motion and– oh. yeah, benrey would like to take care of his boner issue like that, thank you. benreys a little dumbfounded, like, “yo, uhhh, you really wanna suck my dick? friend?” and vr gordons like “oh my god, you didnt have to say it out loud! jesus fucking christ, do not say anything– not another fucking word–” but hes cut off by hl gordons hand tugging his hair hard enough to make him hiss. “okay, okay, jeez!”
vr gordon shimmies closer and looks up at him, still red, still sweating, drool running down the corner of his mouth and trailing in a translucent string from benreys fingers. still embarrassed. but daring benrey to do as he was told. so benrey unzips himself with shaking fingers and pulls out his dick. hes fully hard already and hl gordons there to guide the both of them how to do it - takes vr gordons hand and curls it into a fist with his thumb tucked inside, guides vr gordons head with the hand still in his hair. pushes him onto benreys dick. and theres something decidedly fucking weird about hl gordons role in this, but hes clearly getting off on it, and so are the rest of them, so theres not a lot of room left for any of them to worry about it
i cannot rightfully allow myself to keep fucking writing this when i still havent finished writing gordon freeman coming untouched but im just fucking frothing thinking about hl gordon showing benrey exactly how to push vr gordons buttons. shows him how to finger vr gordon, which angle he should push gordons legs back to so he can hit just the right spot, guides him to take just the right pace and shows him how gordon likes his hair to be pulled
and benreys so obedient! its a marked difference from how much shit he gives vr gordon at any attempt to control him. vr gordons honestly a little miffed about it, but on the other hand, hl gordon is really good at jerking him around and getting him off and hes a very good teacher. he cant complain
Anyway. See Ya