Today i am thinking about things yet again. i just remembered benreys weird little thing with photography and started connecting dots......b/c if you like collecting figures and putting them in neat poses youd probably like to take pictures of them, too.
can you Imagine gordons brain imploding while hes held tilted back dress up (or perhaps even in tatters and barely clinging onto him), puts a hand over his eyes and turns his head to the side cause he cant bear to look as the camera flash goes off and just. knowing hes being photographed and that benreys gonna be able to look at this very compromising position hes in Whenever he wants, and that gordon himself is possibly going to have to see that and see what he looks like rn is just like. he feels like he could pass out both from the idea of it all and from the physical blood rushing anywhere but his brain
i just . i really think its cool to humiliate the hell out of gordon freeman. put him in his place. and i think it would be cool if benrey did that by taking pics of him being dressed up and posed like a fucking action figure and he Flips Out like "what the fuck are you doing man, no flash photography! this isnt the fucking zoo!" and benrey just shrugs at him like "coulda fooled me". maybe even funnier if hes got gordon dolled out in a little cat ear headband b/c i am insane and he tweaks the ears to prove his point
trying to cover his face from the camera but benrey just rolls his eyes at him and tells gordon that hes doing a really shitty job at this whole "being still like a doll" thing........grabbing his arms where theyre flung over his face and carefully bringing them back to the position that benrey wants them in for the picture and telling him to try harder. gordons fingers digging into the fabric of his clothes wherever benreys left his hands but his face burning while he tries so hard not to move but the embarrassment of being photographed makes it instinctual.......
absolutely fucking obsessed with gordon trying (and failing) to be still here. he would be so bad at it.......hes so touchy-feely and moves his hands so much when hes talking
and benrey bullying him hardcore about how much he sucks at doing this thing that he wanted to do in the first place and gordons just like "are you kidding me?? i didnt even know this was, like, a thing, until you brought it up. i dont know a whole lot of-- of fucking, alien gods the size of my house, okay"
it would probably be easier on gordon if his hands were tied up or something, but A) that wouldnt make him very easy to pose and B) benrey probably likes getting so many opportunities to be mean to him about it. some kind of MIT bitch he is. hes so smart but he cant even keep his hands off his face when benrey manhandles him onto his knees and spreads his legs apart and tells him to look at the camera. say cheese, idiot
just. the way this completely turns the tables on gordon. hes gods biggest control freak who is constantly telling ppl what to do but now his only responsibility is to control himself and hes godawful at it
i also keep thinking about gordon seeing the pics after. picking up a stray photo and squinting at it then yelping and throwing it to the ground like its a hot potato when he realizes that the blurry, out of focus figure is him, skirt hiked all the way up his thighs and his hand trying to block out his face but then......morbid curiosity makes him pick it back up again and peer at it from behind slotted fingers over his eyes. for his own protection
and potentially......him jacking off to the pictures by himself when he discovers them again
i want him to feel conflicted about getting horny to pictures of himself degraded like this but he does anyway and has a guilty j/o session. the whole time hes remembering what happened and re-living it and when he gets to a picture of himself after benrey licked him until he came (cause imo, benrey taking a pic of his ruined outfit and blissed out face afterward is SO FUCKING good) he comes hard and fast and then feels so fucked up over it. i think this would be best if he was alone when he found these and then is like...what the hell is wrong with me ....b/c he wants to do it again so fuckin bad
benrey put them away cause hes like "haha nice, that was fun" and doesnt think about it much after but gordon is frothing at the mouth to do it again especially after he jacked off to it. b/c hes insane. i just think it would be nice if his mind went 34939 miles an hour remembering the feeling of the frills and soft lace stockings and panties is what gets him the most hot
in the end benrey can put him in whatever he wants but hes fixated on the dress and wants to wear something like that again so badly. course if benrey ever brings it up again when theyre in another session he'll probably deny on principle at first again but benrey notices how his dick jumps instantly as soon as he starts sliding his legs through the stockings
gordon being way too fucking repressed and embarrassed about liking it that much so he endeavors never to fucking mention it to benrey again. bury that shit deep down. but he sees those pics and he cant stop thinking about it so instead he.........sublimates that desire into getting more into the crossdressing thing on its own. on his own time. a pair of white cotton panties and thigh-high stockings bought furtively online while hes sure that benreys not gonna look in on him doing it, and summarily crammed deep into the back of his messiest dresser drawer where he hopes nobodyll find em.....and he tries to be fucking normal about it like "you know this isnt so bad. it could be worse. cross-dressing is relatively normal. im normal"
but literally every time he puts them on his mind inevitably drifts to thoughts of being manhandled and having his legs spread and being licked like hes a fucking lollipop until he comes, shaking and shouting, in benreys hands again, and he basically wants to floor to open up and swallow him whole after he nuts so hard he sees white spots in the corner of his vision...............but it doesnt stop him any.
real life photographer beny. he moves him around for lighting and poses his hands over and over. photographers are already like that. "can you uh-- calm down a little? You keep dripping and its gonna mess up the pic i want" "OBVIOUSLY I CANT"
"i dunno think about how embarrassing this is. think about me showing this one to all our friends or something"
gordon jumping a foot in the air and bright red and more turned on: "YOU FUCKING WOULDNT"
"aw man look-- there go your hands again. come here. that-- it was supposed to turn you off, man." i like a beny whos all pro while taking them. he can set aside the horny for a bit so hes all calm and dismissive
while gordon is about to scream from sheer frustration. and then benrey holds him down for a bit "dude. seriously. be a good little dolly for like. one fuckin' second" gordon pinned under his finger and now flipping the fuck out because benrey keeps saying this shit and wont tell him when hes going to get his rocks off!
that frustrated moment where they keep wanting 50295725 shots but horny this time "ok. ok I want one from this side don't move" (wheezing, high-pitched + quiet) "Im gonna kill you. I am going to throttle you to death as soon as you're small enough, I hate you, this FUCKING sucks" etc
the fact that he ignores him while he jsut plays and poses with him is the best fucking part of this whole dynamic imo. gordon feeling small both literally and emotionally
thats all part of the fucking game too. pushing gordons limits until he finally sacks up and has to tell benrey that hes getting really fuckin frustrated and he wants to get off. say it with your words, buddy. the disorienting sensation of feeling totally ignored while that same persons attention is laser-focused on him......
but like. ok. the photos. going back to the photos. gordon.......getting off the hardest on the ones where benreys free hand is in the picture. getting off on just how fuckin small he looks in some of these from the angle theyre taken at and. you know. getting off on how he looks, too. a lot of them dont look the best but then there are some pics that punch him straight in the gut with how fucked out he looks
berating himself mentally for being a narcissist later
it doesnt help that the whole time hes looking on them hes got benreys weirdly-detached compliments on loop in his head. saying that he looked pretty. that he looked good. even if it didnt feel like it was so much about him as it was about the concept of him, of himself as a living mannequin for whatever fashion experiments benrey wanted to try out, that shit still hits him hard. hes low self esteem guy canonically, he doesnt really believe that anybody likes him.......but benrey liked him enough to A) indulge whatever the fuck this kink was, B) dress him up for hours while saying this stuff to him, and C) take pictures of the whole thing to save them for later. too bad this whole charade makes him feel just as guilty as it does make him feel confident and desirable
i will never let gordon freeman get what he wants without suffering
geniunely getting heart palpitations thinking about benrey poking his tongue thru his teeth in concentration while he unbuttons gordons shirt with his fucking truck-sized hands i know weve discussed this i KNOW but like i literally cannot articulate why this is grabbing me by the dick and swinging me around
[I Thought About My Tailor Kink For 0.5 Seconds And Had A Brand New Realization] m........................measuring him .
fucking. taking all his clothes off and busting out the measuring tape so he knows exactly what gordons size is. can you. can you fucking imagine. ive been obsessed with garak the humble tailor for a fucking decade now you dont know how deep this runs in me.
HOLDING HIS LEGS SO DELICATELY TO WRAP THE TAPE AROUND THEM
there are so many measurements to take and hes gotta try not to squirm the whole time but its so hard when benreys carefully pushing his limbs this way and that way and turning him around like hes just a fuckin toy. LIKE.........ITS NOT LIKE HE GAVE A SHIT ABOUT ANY OF THIS BEFOREHAND BUT HE GETS REALLY INTO IT B/C ITS SO MUCH FUN TO PLAY WITH GORDON LIKE THIS.....im fine
pinning gordon flat to the ground on his stomach so he can measure his legs without him squirming too much. .. . .. . . . making him dizzy by moving him around too fast or turning him upside down without warning and being squawked at indignantly
his fingers are so blunt and big that its impossible not to graze against gordons dick when hes trying to measure his inseam........the width of his thighs......but hes so clinical about it that gordon feels fuckin embarrassed that hes having any kind of reaction about this
gripped by thoughts of gordon freeman, nervous and loud as can be, pumped full of adrenaline and popping a boner just from the combination of nervous thrill of being tossed around like a ragdoll and the nauseating relief he feels when benrey grips him full-body style, firm pressure all around him calming him down like a literal hugbox like how cows use (and, the part that pisses him off a little, the comfort that he definitely shouldnt feel when he hears benrey say "calm down maybe. 'm not gonna let anything happen to you, i got u" and his voice is so fucking low and loud that he can feel it in his bones)
and it makes the clothes-trying-on experience all the more worse for him and hes downright bitchy about it b/c hes consumed with thoughts of whats wrong with him, why did That make him feel like This. figuring out that you get hard when your massive eldritch boyfriend shakes u like a soda can is bad enough on its own, but now hes dealing with that on top of how badly its turning him on to be manhandled like this and dressed up like hes some kind of fuckin doll. and gordons agonizingly hard the whole time, so badly that it makes him dizzy, and benrey Knows.
hes smirking at him the whole time hes pulling those cute lil outfits onto gordons legs and tugging zippers up for him and feeling the way they curve and strain over his dick. but gordons not giving in - hes irritable and trying to prove a point to himself. this whole scenario is hard enough on his psyche, and being lowered to fucking begging benrey to touch his dick after all this is just too fucking much.
its like a war of wills, but its one that gordon is slowly losing. benrey gets more handsy without ever actually giving him what he wants, hands hot on gordons bare thighs and stomach while he takes measurements and makes him look pretty. and its a real treat to get gordon to snarl and sputter into wordlessness just by telling him how cute he looks when hes all fuckin small and dressed up like this
and gordons so fuckin hard that it hurts by the time theyve gone thru half a dozen outfits, but hes not gonna break. hes gonna get benrey to stop being so fucking detached and clinical about this and touch him himself if it kills him. he can wait. but hes burning up and sweating and shaking and its getting hard for him to keep stringing together coherent sentences. and benreys......benreys kind of a dick, man. he likes pushing gordon. so hes pushing to see how long gordon can take being treated like this before he breaks and begs benrey to do something about it
jokes on gordon, tho. all the iron will in the world cant hold up next to the physical sensation of being pinned to benreys palm while benrey taunts him, making fun of him for being such a smart lil science bitch who was stupid enough to come here to xen and let benrey mess with him like this. does he wanna get up? does he wanna go? hes gonna have to say uncle.
and gordons panting and grabbing at him, almost incoherent with both frustration and arousal and the all-encompassing pressure of benreys hand flat against him. "why are you fucking like this," he snaps, like benreys obstinate attitude isnt half the reason his dick is hard as a rock right now, and then benrey squeezes down a little harder, just to get him to squeak a little
imagine his surprise when that pressure + gordons headspace makes gordons hips jerk up into the flesh of benreys palm desperately and hes coming with an agonized groan. and benrey just stares at him, blankly surprised. when he lifts his hand off of gordon, gordon just lies there with his eyes winched shut, sweating like a pig and trying to catch his breath, those cute lil cotton panties soaked clean through with cum when benrey lifts the hem of his skirt to inspect. and benreys like, "whoa. you good?" and runs the pad of a big fingertip along gordons hair in something approaching concern.......but gordons so fucked out hes just mumbling unintelligibly
and i think it would be really nice if he like. laid gordon somewhere soft. and let him chill out while stroking his hair a little, b/c he is gay. and changing gordon into something cleaner and more comfortable. sometimes, maybe, a massive eldritch bf can make clumsy, awkward attempts at aftercare for the dude he just made nut in his underwear. i think its fine. its fine. im fine. im oka
[24 hrs later] i regret to inform u that i am still having macro/micro thoughts and i need to see a doctor
disease of: benrey being fucking huge and stroking his meat the size of a schoolbus. this whole time weve been talking about him making gordon cum buckets but have yet to acknowledge benreys massive boner and i need to rectify this
gordon in giant benrey's hand, being held under the length of his dick so its resting on top of gordons whole body while it twitches and gordon can feel benreys pulse......just. resting the head of his dick riiiight between gordons thighs and its so fucking big that gordon has to spread his legs to accommodate it
gordons thoughts racing at 120 mph and his heart beating out of his chest b/c jesus christ he is so fucking big and looking up at benreys wrecked face right now is making his dick jump. benreys heartbeats pounding thru his dick like hes human but he is so very fucking not-human right now and it makes gordons head spin
t-the. the. ..gordon gets off (the first time anyway,) by grinding up against him, and. when he does, benrey is throbbing that much more and dripping precum onto him just from watching, so gordon feels that extra movement against his. everything
he doesnt even fucking understand what benrey is getting out of this - benreys barely moving, really, not even touching himself, but his hands are shaking and his dick throbs half the time gordon says something or makes a noise and jesus that is a lot of precum (b/c he is huge, dipshit)
j. just. what if he. fucks gordons thighs......like that. just effortlessly grabs gordons legs and presses them together around his dick and tells him to clamp em real fuckin tight for him
its so big that even gordons long, long legs cant fully get around it like this so he just clamps his thighs together and hopes for the best. and it really seems to be doing it for benrey - hes panting and drooling a little and mumbling something that gordon cant make out
and gordon with a hand trying to cover his face b/c hes fucking burning up at this whole situation, how did he even end up here, why is it so hot for benrey to just, move him around so effortlessly, why cant he stop making embarrassing fucking noises every time the head of benreys dick slips between his thighs and slides against his own dick
benrey coming all over his stomach and chest with a bone-rattling groan and its the feeling of his dick twitching with it along gordons whole lower body that gets gordon to rut upwards gracelessly and come himself
benrey licks him clean afterwards while gordons red-faced and sputtering about how fucking gross he is, man, does he have any dignity at all. benreys not a coward hell eat his own cum any day of the week month century. Okay! Bye
the way hes fucking holding him to his face and tongue is making me crazy. the desperation conveyed by that while he jerks himself off roughly. im imagining his face just being absolutely wrecked and hes dripping saliva all over gordon and its running down his own face. gordon can feel it pooling hot and wet between his legs through the softer parts of his suit. also im thinking. fucking. scent kink. benrey taking a deep breath with his face pressed to gordon's middle and he can smell the sweat coming off of him and just wants. to rip the stupid suit off him so that he can lick fully up his body from dick to chest to his neck and bury his face in his soft stomach for real
and. fucking. the only stimulation gordons having is his busted fucking HEV suit........benreys full moans vibrating his suit where its pressed to his tongue
what if he.................................tore the HEV suit off . with his teeth
benreys been licking at the HEV suit for a while and gordon just assumes thats the end of it. the rumbling is getting to him, so it could all work out in his favor as it is.....then he realizes that the rumbling is an actual growl, where benrey is getting super fucking frustrated that he cant get right up to gordons bare skin. he wants to taste gordon, not metal, and this isnt doing it for him. so......he puts Gordon a little too close to his mouth for comfort. carefully hooks a couple of sharp, sharp teeth around the edge of the suit. and like hes ripping open a bag of fuckin fruit snacks, just yanks his head back and rips a clean fucking chunk off the front of the HEV suit. crunching metal, ripping of the undersuit.....gordon left wearing tatters and feeling air for the first time in.......how long?
not just air, either. b/c Benrey spits out the suit and comes back in with his tongue. touch starved gordon gets a full-fuckin body experience from his best friend, benrey. i. like. i get fucking bowled over any time "friend" or "best friend" especially gets used in horny context. its an almost malicious energy and i fuckin love it
thinking about the moment just before benrey tears that shit off. where hes looking at gordon, but not really at him, more at the HEV suit.......brows furrowed in concentration......tongue still lolling out of his mouth and dripping with spit........and gordons mouth goes dry with anticipation and he asks, voice embarrassingly high, "....what are you gonna do to me?"
also rotating. thinking about. him only getting the upper half of the HEV suit off at first......spitting out the metal and just holding gordon in his hand before burying his nose against gordons skin......soft stomach.....fuzzy. smells good. hes just fuckin huffing gordon, whos like "whoa! hey hey hey, thats, thats gross, man," all fucking embarrassed b/c hes been in black mesa for days now, hes the furthest thing from clean, but benrey does not give a shit in the slightest.
hes just mumbling shit feverishly about how he smells good (which might be louder but is no more comprehensible at this scale) before hes darting his tongue out to lick at the exposed flesh at his stomach, trailing it up to his shoulders and neck and definitely getting spit in gordons hair, which he does not fucking like and voices his strenuous opposition to
touch-starved gordon freeman having been touched skin-to-skin for the first time in-- days? maybe even weeks? depends on how recently u think this dudes been fucked. and not just touched - being licked by a broad, wet warm tongue, when the tip of it keeps pushing and prodding at him, nudging at the seams of the suit like its trying to worm its way in, flicking at his chest and wringing horrible, horrible noises from gordon, and benreys hot breath is puffing over him in harsh pants and his pupils are blown alllll the way out and his eyes keep darting around minutely like he cant pick just one part of gordon to look at, like hes just vibrating with raw fucking energy thats making his very eyes jitter.
and gordons being gripped so tight hes starting to hear the metal of the suit whine, and benrey keeps mumbling nonsense about-- about him? how good he smells - how good he tastes - how he wants more, more, more, cmon, gordonnn, and its only in the brief moments of respite where gordons not choking on his words and gasping and praying to god and swearing at benrey for being a weirdo that gordon realizes.......oh. hes asking. or, to be more precise, hes inviting gordon to ask. because gordons hips keep shifting and he keeps trying to press his thighs together in an attempt to will down his boner. and hes getting desperate enough that he might actually ask, no matter how fucking weird this scenario is or just how in the world he ended up here in the first place
one of my fave things is the loss of inhibition that comes from going from begrudgingly hot to full whore that doesn't care. that process is everything. going from almost mad hes asking benrey to tear off the lower half to begging for it.......
how nice it must feel.......for him to finally hit the point where his neuroses bleed away and hes just tapped into pure, desperate horny
thinking about. benrey drawing back to look at him more closely, and gordons wrecked. face beet red, flushed all the way down to his chest, covered in saliva (yes, even in his hair, which he was initially highly pissed off about but as Horny has overtaken him hes stopped caring so much. its making his hair all bedraggled.), thighs pressed tightly together and rubbing against each other subconsciously, fingers white-knuckled where theyre gripping onto benreys hand for dear life, titties fully out and chest heaving with the heaviest breaths of his life, eyes first shut tight to keep himself from being overwhelmed and then slowly cracking open to see whats going on, why benreys stopped.......he looks, not to put too fine a point on it, like hes in the middle of being fucked and benreys just put it to a halt
and just......the staredown between them at that point. the dawning knowledge for both of them that A) they themselves are into it and B) the other guy is severely into it. hes really gonna have to ask, isnt he. because benreys too busy staring at him with wide eyes, pink in the face, mouth a little slack from surprise/awe, and his thumbs idly rubbing over gordons exposed stomach. its like he totally forgot he was in the middle of something (and that "something" was "getting gordon to nut in his HEV suit just from having his chest played with by a massive alien god"). hes mumbling shit like "whoa" and "so small....." and kind of forgetting that gordon is, like, right fucking there. so gordon gets a little irritated and bitches at him not to just stop there, whats his problem
"what?" "i said, can you get me out of this fucking thing already? im chafing! theres chafing happening!" and thats when the light of recognition pops into benreys eyes again and he grins, all fuckin malicious. and he bullies gordon into admitting just what it is he wants the suit off for - gets him to say it out loud - that gordon wants to get off, wants benrey to loom over him and wrap that tongue around his legs and go down on him until hes shaking. in so many words. (he doesnt say exactly those things, but hes absolutely thinking them. this whole lull in conversation has given him a good couple of minutes to really visualize it. to judge that the way his heart skips a beat when he envisions benreys huge fucking face between his legs is, yeah, a little bit of fear and apprehension, but its the kind that gets him agonizingly hard instead of making him want to run away, like a normal person.)
and thats when benrey does him the favor of popping off the bottom half of the suit with his teeth. "can you-- can you just use your hands like a normal person?!" (the utter fucking ludicrousness of acting like this is a normal person thing to be doing in the first place is lost upon him.) gordons acting a little too fucking confident for a little dude with his boner fully out, but when benrey spreads his legs with his thumbs and Looms, breath hot and ragged where hes just inches from gordon, that shuts him up awful quick. his heart races, and his dick twitches, and he runs a frantic hand through his hair. those teeth look so much bigger and sharper up close, and when benrey licks his lips (like hes looking at something sumptuous, oh jesus christ, what did he get himself into, hes gonna die b/c he listened to his dick one too many times) he runs that massive tongue over a canine.
and when benrey mutters "fuuuck, bro," under his breath, gordon can feel it in his bones. cool. great. like he needed more shit to make his hard-on worse. gordon feels so fuckin exposed like this, and eventually he starts bitching again, like "take a picture, man, itll last longer", but he doesnt even get the whole thing out of his mouth before benreys licking up his leg and parting gordons thighs with his tongue and gordon shouts. its-- its so fucking much-- benreys names spilling out of his mouth without him even realizing it because its so hot and wet and overwhelming and all-fucking-encompassing
benreys groaning against him and pulling back to incoherently sing his praises about how good gordon tastes, fuck, man, better than he imagined, and gordon wants to ask what the hell he imagined (and when? and for how long? and was it like this? was it always like this?) but benreys diving back in for more before he can speak. there are things leaving his mouth, but they arent quite words. the best he manages is a "please" here, an "oh fuck" there. he clutches onto benreys name like a lifeboat because at least thats one thing hes managing to say coherently. and he cant-- he can barely fucking move, benreys thumbs are holding him apart, but gordon tries his fucking hardest to rut upward anyway
its been so goddamn long since hes gotten any that he comes in record time, howling dizzily into the open air while benrey licks him through it and grins like a cat thats gotten the cream
this is the bit where i talk about benrey jacking off with the gordon freeman NECA figure [used]. dont read this
you know. somebody posted that fucking gordon freeman figure as a funny haha. but what if it was less of a funny ha ha. what if benreys really been thinking about it. but its not like gordons just, like, going to let him Do That, you know? dudes all pissy about even mildmannered flirting (at least for the time being. gordons still in Denial Mode at this point) so for now its just.........a fantasy. one that hes had ever since he saw gordon lookin so tiny next to him in xen.
he was so fuckin cute like that, right, all hopped-up and bitchy and small enough that he could fit in benreys hand. benrey could just pick him up and do anything with him. thats crazy, man. he could even.......he could even come on him just like hes always wanted to, in "real life", marking gordon as all his. gets fixated on the idea. thinks about waiting, waiting until now (the moment he starts to think about the fantasy) until the moment gordon fucks him so hell have as much as possible to get on him. (this never lasts very long - he doesnt have a lot of self control, and the only time he actively thinks about it is when hes trying to jerk off anyway, so its self-defeating.)
but, you know.......if he cant have the real thing, then storebought is fine, too. that is to say, i think it would be really interesting if benrey got ahold of that official figure of gordon freeman (what a weird coincidence that they look so alike, ha ha) and........re-enacted. you know. some guys fuck fleshlights, some guys fuck body pillows, and some guys try to fuck action figures that look like the spitting image of their best bud/unrequited crush.
some guys jerk off while kneeling over them and paint them in cum and then take pictures of their handiwork and keep them in a beat-up shoebox under their bed. some guys pump their dicks while theyre laying in bed and theyre furiously tonguing gordon freemans plastic dick (or, you know, utter lack thereof) in imitation of the acts they really wanna do. its.........its completely normal. regular. its. its fine
ITS REALLY WEIRD.....................................................but i dont think he wouldnt do it.
like. ok. he gives me so many 4chan /v/ boy vibes. he really really does. and. you know. guys on there............do this. ive seen the evidence. photographic evidence. he reminds me of the kind of guy who nuts on their figures and posts it on 4chan. except that instead of a big titty anime figure hes doing it to gordon freeman. and everyone thinks hes just trolling but no. no
it is a bit unbearably pathetic but i am not above degrading him like this. i will see u guys in hell