it starts like everything i write starts between them........like haha.......what if.......as a joke.......?
like ok i really liked the (awful, awful, god) thing somebody suggested about gordon picking up some of those fuckin. dog chew things for his teeth as a joke b/c its the perfect like "this is clearly intended to make fun of benrey but hes not phased at all" kind of thing
and then gordons like.......haha.......that was kind of funny. what if i got something else as a dumb joke. (this is the part where i admit i know fuck all about dog enrichment so idk what would be funny here. i am attempting not to commit to the research just yet.) and each time benrey just rolls with it and gets into the role a little more
so its like........."accidental" petplay
and its all fun and games until you start to play frisbee with your bro and he catches it in his mouth (and seriously, how the fuck does he do that) and brings it back to u and on pure instinct you say good boy.........and gordon only has the dawning realization that This Is Weird when hes scratching benreys head and benreys breathing gets Weird, so he slows to a stop like "O..........h."
and he tries to put an end to that shit but benrey does not pick up on the memo at all and he would like to make it weirder, thanks
havent thought too hard about why exactly gordon goes along with it after that (b/c of course hes got to, its my idea) but weirdly enough once that door is opened and theyve both owned it as being insanely fucking weird, hes like.......curiously into it again? like it goes from being "oh haha i should pick up this dog-related thing as a joke" to "oh haha i should pick this up b/c i think it would be fun to do the weird pet shit with". like he gets kind of........excited to bring home something new and see what benrey would say. its not like he, yknow, likes benrey or anything, its just........kind of fun. and it adds the the illusion when benreys thrilled with something he does or gets, to the point of looking like he could be wagging his tail. thats all it is
its normal its completely normal and gordon freeman is super fucking normal when hes playing tug of war with his bro but his bro is using his teeth to pull
the thing about benrey is that the shit he does/says on an every day basis is so off the wall that its surprisingly easy for gordon to get sucked into whatever fucking forcefield he radiates, the one that makes gordon largely push the increasing Weirdness of all this shit out of his mind. maybe the Weirdness creeps back in again when theyre out in public and they subconsciously do some petplay shit around other people (like, for a hilarious example, bubby) who are predictably like "what the fuck?"
but like in the long run that clearly does not matter b/c again, this is my idea and the point is to get fucking nasty. even if gordon keeps trying to put a stop to things, its not like he can stop thinkng about fucked shit every time he goes to his local big box grocery store and walks past the aisle of pet supplies. every time he looks a little too closely at those collars and leashes. (gordon furiously powerwalking away from gay thoughts in the fucking walmart) he gets like.......distressingly fixated on the idea of seeing benrey in a collar. putting it around his neck. seeing the little metal tag with $SOMETHING written on it (i havent decided whats hotter: benreys name or gordons contact information or......something else.....???)
i think that gordon would alternate between furiously pretending he isnt thinking about it and getting, like, too into looking up collars on niche websites while he debates which ones would suit benrey the best. he wrestles with this extremely poorly. (i wish i had an example of what kind he would pick out, but i swear to god i am not researching this i am Not doing it i Cannot let myself.) and there comes a day when he bites the bullet in in a delirious, sleepless fugue and gets the fucking collar and gets the fucking engraved nametag and he doesnt sleep for like 2 days straight trying to psych himself into either getting rid of it or giving it to benrey. (obv he picks benrey here.)
and when he does give it to benrey, thats when things get, like, Weird-weird. like "so loaded with horny undertones that you could cut the sexual tension with a knife". because what in the fuck else do you call it when you show up with a gay little package and you pull out a gay little collar and leash and your hands shake so goddamn badly when you offer to put it around your bros neck and he lets you
that click of the collar into place would have a devastating finality to it i think. like theres no coming back from this, hes in too deep
and from that point on, that tension is always in the air. the undercurrent of their dynamic - owner and owned - bleeds into their play like never before. benrey looks like hes about to spring out of his skin and pounce every time gordon scratches his head, or laughs when hes doing something silly, or calls him a fucking good boy, jesus christ. neither of them have ever wanted that particular line to be crossed so badly in their fucking lives. theyre both going back home to furiously jerk off at night every single time they engage in this shit, while thinking that the other one would think theyre a sick freak for considering it. (this makes gordon feel terrible about himself. in contrast this makes benrey even hotter for it.)
oh yeah also something to think about. benrey almost certainly jerks off while hes wearing the collar. (also he probably never takes it off if he doesnt have to, which is kind of gross.) he can even tug his own leash to simulate the real deal. he wants gordon to tug him around by a leash so bad hes practically gagging for it.
you can pack so many fetishes into this bad boy
and then they trip headfirst over that line when benreys flopped on his back, his shirt riding up on his stomach, and gordons so fucking stupid and rubs his stomach and calls him a good boy and hes laughing and getting way too into it and oh, god, thats a boner. thats benrey with a raging boner from *all of that shit*
AND THATS THE SCENE I HAVE BURNED INTO MY FUCKING BRAIN
so. Boner. that is benrey and he has a boner. the laughter on his face dies away to something a little more stunned and serious. gordons hand slows, but it doesnt stop. benreys breathing gets louder and more ragged. his mouths hanging open and hes panting and hes still got the fucking collar on and gordon can feel his entire body broil. he rubs his thumb in circles against the skin of benreys belly, near the crease of his hip, and benrey makes a Sound. benreys got his hands supine next to his head, deliberately trying very, very hard not to break character b/c theyre both like, fuck, man, if we break character then this becomes too Real, right? and if benrey breaks character he thinks that gordon wont keep going and he really wants gordon to touch his dick right now, thanks
and gordon tests the waters by, like, actually........doing it. he moves his hand to benreys dick and benrey whines like hes never heard before and he cannot believe this is fucking happening. when he presses his palm down, he feels it twitch under him, and benreys hips arch into it like hes trying so goddamn hard to stop himself but he Cant. thats.......thats kind of hot. thats really hot. he likes seeing benrey commit to the bit. so he squeezes and rubs with one hand, and with his other he resumes petting benrey on his stomach, and benrey starts saying really nice shit like "oh fuck" and "gordon" and it makes gordon lose his entire mind. and it really doesnt take much more of that for benrey to get off just from being palmed over his sweatpants. gordons like..........Oh. Shit. and hes also painfully fucking hard but hes frozen still and doesnt have any idea what he should do about it
and thats when benrey leans up on his elbows and gives gordon a look that, frankly, frightens him to try to interpret. after a few moments all that tension hes been holding back finally snaps and he pounces on gordon and licks a wet stripe up the side of his jaw (BOY I REALLY SEEM TO LIKE DOING THIS HUH) and gordons initially like, What? but then he realizes benreys still playing along. hes licking him like a dog. showing affection. (hes also definitely still trying to fuck gordon, too,)
you probably know where this is going. ~ benrey gives gordon a blowjob ~
at this point i kind of lose coherence over linear timeline and i just think of shit that id really wanna see them do
which is where it really becomes just luridly self-indulgent and i become withered and desiccated
like. them getting deep into it and gordon challenging benrey not to talk unless he says so b/c, like, he wants to be a good dog, right? good dogs dont talk. so theyre fuckin or whatever and benreys like desperately trying not to say anythin g or be too loud untl gordon says "speak" and it all just comes barreling out. and since hes been so good, gordon calls him a good boy and he comes right then and there........this is also very open to use of a muzzle on benrey for added flavor
and also like......i think this is the only context where i really get into praise kink with them.......like i think its fine and can even be good when other ppl do it but its not really what i think of when i think of how i write them.......and i think that benrey would be extremely into it here. theres the whole Thing of both of them clinging to the performance to give themselves an "out", where it doesnt have to become A Problem if this stuff only occurs in the context of their petplay, so the only time benrey gets to hear anything like that from him is when theyre doing this shit. its like......hanging onto crumbs. intermittent reinforcement. so when gordon figures out that benrey likes being called a good boy like that, he leans into it, using it to fuck with benrey, to get a reaction out of him, or just to genuinely reward him