like ok sorry im about to talk about a venom AU again b/c jesus christ its just frenrey man. the sad, pathetic, cringy sweaty little man with depression and his new best friend, the way-too-powerful alien thing thats always on his back and is always pushing to do things that arent socially acceptable... its the same shit. whatever. am i thinking about that prodromal phase when gordons sweating and heaving and ravenous and trying to eat everything in sight and being jerked around by an alien leaning how to puppet his body? Yes
eating is horny, man. the vore thing is just completing the circuit and closing the loop. his entire fucking physiologys going haywire and his metabolisms in overdrive and eating is always a metaphor for something and i dont know why it shouldnt be a metaphor for being mysteriously, suddenly horny, either. and also its just really hot to see somebody going apeshit on food. Whatever
the dudes who made hannibal get it. food is erotic. food is always about something else. and pulling him around like a puppet especially. LITERALLY leaning how to move gordon around the way he wants to!!! its gotta be just as awkward for the symbiote to learn how to move in a human body as it is for the human to learn how to move in sync with the symbiote. the struggle... is . its good
hes literally just. a puppet for the symbiote. hes a puppet that can make the symbiotes job a lot easier by playing along and figuring out how to move in sync, but like. hes just getting jerked around effortlessly for the whole fucking movie. and gordons strong enough that he can put up a good fight... but hes not stronger than a fucking alien thats in control of his very muscles and nervous system! lucky for him that he got saddled with a parasite thats developed a real quick fondness for the body that it inhabits or else hed just find himself sharing the same fate as all the other bodies that got colonized and dropped by the wayside
(sigh) and benrey would wanna stick around him b/c hes fun. he reacts good. hes fun to play with. hes easy to bully and cajole into doing what benrey wants, within reason. and unlike mr marvel-mouthpiece-eddie-brock, gordon freeman would fucking delight in getting to chomp on a cop or two. he would relish the opportunity
and like. uhh. that part where venom pins eddie to the wall. Wow
i think it would be. really cool. if uuuhhh if umm uhhh well. like. the symbiote is super strong right. so its basically like having a. uhh. living full body bondage suit that really, really wants to fuck you. if benrey doesnt want him to move then buddy, hes not moving. gordon freeman pinned firmly in place by an amorphous slime monster with sharp, sharp teeth and a lolling tongue that knows, in the most intimate and excruciating detail, just how badly he likes it
literally theres no way gordons not thinking back on so much of this shit later and having the weirdest fucking dreams of his life. i dont even know if he would initially be aware that a lot of this stuff is hitting him in the dick. it feels like a kind of sleeper agent thing. like yeah sure he probably knew he was into bondage. thats not all that weird. but i think it would take a little mental prodding to get him to be like "Oh. benrey did that. to me. and he could probably do it again. if i asked. but im not gonna fucking ask for that"
therein lies the crux of his problem: the symbiote knows literally everything about him. they share the same body and have touched each others minds. benrey Knows
he literally cannot hide a single fucking thing. its plain as day. the only thing stopping benrey from doing anything about it is the fact that gordon wont fucking ask, and more to the point, seems vehemently opposed to the idea of ever acting on it... until suddenly, he isnt
and also its probably really fucking fun to tease him about it. its not like gordons gotta always be consciously aware of the fact that benrey knows Literally Everything About Him. teasing him by cracking jokes about eating him? weird coincidence, right. ha ha. benrey makes an offhand comment about basically eating him every time they transform and gordon has a psychosexual breakdown bc all his blood leaves his brain
but also i have the very vivid idea of benrey pinning gordon to the wall like that again with the full knowledge that gordons getting off on it, and taunting him to struggle harder b/c its more fun that way. whys he just acting all limp like a ragdoll, huh. (because thats what you normally do when youre being put in bondage! or at least, thats what gordon does! hes not used to the idea of something wanting him to try and struggle b/c its fun to playfight with him, even if its very much just a play fight b/c benreys so much stronger!!!)
look i jsut think his gradual transformation from "normal guy with latent psychosexual issues who is rightly weirded out by killing and blood and things of thast nature" to "problems guy who gets hot in the face when he sees all those teeth and watches benrey chomp on dudes and gets a little hard whenever hes enveloped by his alien bodymate-cum-best friend" is. awesome
the mental journey from "what the fuck is happening this is the most terrifying thing that could ever happen to me. what if i die in here" to "wow this is still anxiety-inducing but im so fucking strong and i can do crazy superhero shit. this is awesome" to "oh no the anxiety is back to an 11 b/c ive started having weird thoughts about it and now im thinking about baseball really hard to try not to get hard"
jesus christ man. gordon stops jerking off entirely b/c he doesnt want the fucking symbiote to see his boner and ask any weird questions but benrey doesnt even care. he just thinks gordons insane for taking so many cold showers. daily fucking slapfighting over the shower knob
he has so much wrong with him but benrey doesnt even CARE. gordon is the only one that cares nearly that much about his weird boner problems and doesnt want benrey to see his dick b/c “what if its weird. what if i make this weird.” meanwhile benrey has been aware of every time gordon has gotten a half chub from benrey transforming. benrey doesnt even think gordons trying to hide it hes doing that bad of a job
gordon doesnt even WANT to have to explain what a stiffy is to this guy!!! he thinks that b/c benreys some kind of alien thing, he wouldnt even know. he wouldnt be familiar with the human boner. but gordon assumes hes gonna have to if he ever pops one so he does everything in his power to neglect his stupid dick. meanwhile benrey absolutely knows how dicks work b/c he was socialized entirely on ps3 multiplayer until he met gordon and you would not believe how much intimate knowledge of the human penis hes acquired by this
(sigh) i think that when gordon realizes he has a weird sentient alien parasite inside of him he would get weird about literally every embarrassing bodily function/necessary display of nudity. and i think he would be bladder shy in front of a brand new audience
i just think. that. he would be freaking out about an alien seeing his dick. and immediately after seeing that benrey is Real and Inside Him for the first time, he would try very, very hard to hold it in so the alien thing doesnt see his dick. progressively antsier... squirming... Pacing... gordon gets an alien parasite and decides he can never pee again. ignoring the blatant fact that benrey is little man in his bloodstream and already knows all about his dick. im envisioning this happening shortly before he learns that benrey is In His Head. and also that hes in some pretty serious denial about it a lot of the time
but just b/c gordons ignoring it and pretending like everythings normal (and like HES normal) doesnt mean that either of those things are true. benrey knows exactly whats going through his head. theyre Bonded. and benrey knows that hes a little freak whos got boner problems about this subject specifically. i mean its not like hed even have to read gordons mind to figure that one out, yknow? he canonically cannot fucking stop himself from joking about piss, joking about how much hes been holding it, etc etc. and yknow... benreys just a weird little alien goop with a poor grasp on human social mores. his understanding is that pleasure is something that feels good, so theres no reason why they shouldnt feel good. eating people makes him feel good. being jerked around and controlled makes gordon feel good. whats the problem
and if hes in total control of gordons body... well, maybe the bladder-shyness isnt as bad a problem as gordon thinks. benrey can just control his muscles, yknow? help him out. so he quits freaking the fuck out like a little bitch about how gross and weird this is. (its really not that weird to benrey, okay.) the weirder thing is how neurotic gordons being about the whole thing. and so uhhhh thats how gordon ends up with his skin flushing so badly it makes him dizzy when benrey is just like “okay uh this is stupid can you just deal with it” and puppets him over to the bathroom and makes him. just. do it
also like okay. ping-ponging to another thing here. i have been thinking about the first time gordon actually tries to jerk off after acquiring an Audience
its gotta come up at some point. theres no way it doesnt. having a case of blue balls for that fucking long is probably turning him into the worlds most neurotic little bitch and at some point benrey just asks him point blank "hey. do you ever jerk off" because... like... he feels what gordon feels for gods sake. hes aware of all the boners gordons been getting and not doing anything about. and "not talking about it" was his way of being polite but now gordons being a nasty deranged little cunt of a man from Dick Too Hard and its getting annoying. and gordons just like "what!!! of course i do, but you, you know what, thats none of your business! im not about to pound my meat with an audience!"
benrey doesnt really get it. gordons horny, he just copped to jerking off on occasion, whats the problem? theyre bros, its cool. he can just, like, play minecraft and not look. gordon thinks this is the stupidest thing hes ever heard. but like... he does miss jacking off. hes a red blooded adult male and its a little harder to pick up girls when he has a flesh eating alien with very poor boundaries sharing his body. so he decides, well, fuck it. hes just negotiating space with a roommate. in a way. its fine. its not that weird
but it is that weird, actually. gordon tries it but he has a really hard time getting it up with the knowledge that hes doing it right next to somebody who isnt even paying attention. it makes him feel like one of those weirdos who jerks off on the bus. benrey notices that hes, like, stopped, and has just kind of tucked his dick back in his underwear and given up. and after some confused discussion and bickering, benreys like, "you uhh... you want a hand?" and that kickstarts gordons heartrate right back up
what im saying, is that, benrey should subsume gordons right hand. envelop it in his own. take control of it. and jerk him off for the first time while panting in his ear and licking his neck and dirty talking the hell out of him. and gordons never came so hard or so fast in his life
and like. this would 100% open the freak floodgates. gordon was trying very hard not to think about it before but now the door is wide open and he cant not think about all the insane things benrey could do to him. WITH him
like. okay. gordon really is just all the way in there . things ive never fully considered before. venoms literally about vore
benrey meat prison. going superhero mode means your cock is grinding on slime the whole fucking time. gordon can be having a minor anxiety meltdown as hes subsumed by slime and can feel benrey going hog wild. bc hes in there... its a bonding thing. and also a vore thing. and a "he cant hide literally any of his reactions so the moment he pops a boner in there benrey is going to know about it" thing
like the logistics are vague but its implied they can see out each others eyes and have a sense of each others bodies. so when benreys fully out gordon can see out his eyes and it kinda feels like the big body is his too, theyre in sync. but i like to think. he can also feel his own body distinctly. he can feel benreys body pressing in around him. he can feel the muscles crush him in place as they move. i think that would be . cool
and like. okay. the thing i dont really care for when it comes to vore is the, like, Everything After. what i think is really cool, and awesome, is the. uh. the mouth stuff. big tongue and teeth and being totally enveloped in something wet and hot and whatever. okay. but i dont actually want the guy to get swallowed okay i think he should just nut and then get spit back out. im not about the internal workings here thats where my boner turns off and i fail to suspend my disbelief
but like. the great thing with venom is that. you dont have to worry about any of that . gordon can just be... totally subsumed by him. that massive alien maw opening wide and licking him all over and enveloping him from the bottom up, nothing but wet-hot pressure wrapping around him... sucking at every inch of him and undulating in a way he literally never could have fathomed before. the things that gordon thought about in the back of his mind whenever benrey transformed with him. the things he was convinced benrey wouldnt know about if he thought hard enough about literally anything else while they were out doing their vigilante thing. and then he can nut so hard he goes blind and get spit right back out and full-body cuddled by his symbiote buddy
i think its neat to think about the possible feedback loop from their mental link. like. look i dont know how exactly a symbiote nuts and at this point im too afraid to ask. but like. they dont have naturally occurring dicks. so it seems to me, that the best way to get benrey to nut, here, is for him to get gordon to nut also. the feedback loops
theyre basically one guy, right. gordon-and-benrey. benrey-and-gordon. hes experiencing the world through gordon, feeling what he does, seeing what he sees. benrey having a harder time maintaining a coherent form the more he drives gordon to the edge... hes in gordons head! hes feeling what he feels! and gordons in benreys head, too, seeing himself from the outside... realizing he looks like a total fucked out whore like this and its humiliating and excruciating but all benreys seeing is his person coming apart and theres nothing but extremely positive vibes going on in his head and it makes gordon feel, like... really hot, actually. hes got that mental image of himself as the pathetic schlubby guy that we all know he kind of is but also hes schlubby in an insanely fuckable way, and benrey knows this. he Knows this
that possessive little throb in the back of his mind b/c benreys looking at him and subsuming his lower half and wrapping around his dick and pushing into him him and all thats on his mind is how this is his person, all his, hes gonna show gordon that he doesnt need other girls anymore. they cant do what he does, because gordon is his and, more to the point, hes gordons
and hes right . literally how is he going to go back to pussy after that. its a metaphor for being gay but also they are literally gay and have insane crazy sex about it. its like symbolic or whatever
anyway i think when benreys fucking him senseless with all those tentacles or whatever gordon should accidentally say “were gonna come” when hes about to nut. b/c its a “we” thing. benreys a symbiote who can only come when gordon does, through their mental link. ok. Bye